[00:00:07.390] - Chris
Welcome back to the Head, Heart and Boots podcast, I'm Chris.
[00:00:10.830] - Brandon
And I'm Brandon. Join us as we wrestle with what it takes to transform ourselves and the businesses we lead.
[00:00:17.870] - Chris
I don't know what you think?
[00:00:19.230] - Brandon
It was kind of serious.
[00:00:21.170] - Chris
Should we laugh?
[00:00:25.890] - Brandon
Hey, want to kind of bounce around some different ideas today?
[00:00:28.870] - Chris
You're trying to think about what you call this episode. Maybe it'll be shop talk. Maybe it'll be like, I don't know, chats and giggles.
[00:00:35.430] - Brandon
I don't know what miscellaneous reentering, but I do have kind of a zone to start in. That's somewhat intentional. So I was listening to an episode of the Tim Ferriss podcast and he had Terry Crews on. And I think a lot of people probably know who Terry Crews is, but in general. So he's an actor, artist, performance guy. He's enormous. He's built like he's probably chiseled out of granite.
[00:01:02.390] - Chris
The dude is a beautiful man.
[00:01:03.770] - Brandon
Yeah. He's just ripped. And a lot of his roles tend to be a little bit more fun, almost basically comedy and always able to carry a ton of weight and probably whoops mass.
[00:01:15.540] - Chris
Okay, so he came onto the scene. Do you remember the commercial where he was like shirtless, like riding on a white horse? What was that?
[00:01:22.660] - Brandon
Was it spice? Old Spice or something? Yeah.
[00:01:27.430] - Chris
I mean, that guy probably revolutionized old spices.
[00:01:30.510] - Brandon
Yeah. And he's been in all sorts of stuff. I think one of his more recent shows was something Living Dead or something.
[00:01:36.830] - Chris
Oh, and wasn't he America's Got Talent?
[00:01:38.830] - Brandon
He's the host of that show.
[00:01:40.570] - Chris
Yeah. Just look over for Seacrest.
[00:01:42.180] - Brandon
Yeah.
[00:01:43.710] - Chris
So big, dude.
[00:01:44.650] - Brandon
Anyways, what was really interesting about this podcast was so first off, the dude kind of first and foremost, an artist has a very unique I don't want to go into all of it, but has like a furniture collection. It's part of a very unique group of people. And artists have had this particular group take on their collection. He's been awarded for it. He's just a very Renaissance.
[00:02:07.010] - Chris
You said a furniture collection. Like, what are we talking about?
[00:02:10.090] - Brandon
Like, this guy is like true artist designer. He's creating all the time. He's sketching all the time. He's not just this strongman machismo. Anyway, all that, who cares? Probably. But it was interesting to me to find out how dynamic this individual is. And it struck me that that's one of the things that I've really appreciated from podcasts and all sorts of stuff is when you get the ability to kind of peek behind the curtain and get a much more rounded look at what their life really looks like and what they really do and what they create. And it kind of shook me a little bit in terms of it made me think about how little I honestly know about a lot of the people in my world. And I was thinking kind of our industry in general. I was thinking to myself, how many people, whether they be consulting firms or training institutions or service providers that support our industry that we really know so little. It's like very one dimensional what we understand about the people that build and create these businesses and provide services to our industry. And I actually was kind of thinking about us, too.
[00:03:11.340] - Brandon
And one of the interesting things is that in general, maybe you and I are a little bit different just because of some of the topics that we choose to wrestle with. But in general, people probably have a fairly one dimensional understanding of who we are and what we bring and what we try to develop in our business and those kinds of things. So that being said, I wanted to talk a little bit more about the behind the scenes aspect of what we do from a mental state, if you will, just kind of mental awareness, like the mental gymnastics that you and I potentially go through as we build our business. And I don't know if anyone listening would be like, oh, I can relate to that or that's. Something that I wrestle with is I develop my company and try to put more employees in certain positions. Whatever I was thinking about that, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind running down that rabbit trail with me a little bit. I'm open you're open to it. I guess I'll start it up, see where it goes. So one of the things that I've realized is I'm stuck in the hustle of starting a company.
[00:04:08.050] - Brandon
Right.
[00:04:08.400] - Brandon
We're in the first years of our business, and so there's this kind of generic perspective that people have on what it takes to get a business going and the 24/7 grind and all the things like that. And what's interesting is that, though I feel a pull to that. I'm also feeling a different poll, and that pulls to be very intentional about what we built this time to where I feel like I can have a bit more control of the level of commitment, the time that I put in, why I put that time in, and what the result is that I'm specifically looking for. We had an interview with somebody not that long ago, and they said I spent the first 40 years of my life doing what I thought others wanted me to do. And now that individual was Jeremy Reeds, actually, and how he wants to spend the remainder of his life doing things that he knows he should do.
[00:04:56.050] - Brandon
Right.
[00:04:56.290] - Brandon
It's like, oh, man, it just struck me. And that's what's been going on with me lately. And our business is without going into much detail, we just had an interesting relationship with a client that for really great reasons, both for them and us, we needed to kind of draw that to a close. And my reaction to it was a bit more healthy than I anticipated because there was part of me that was just asking maybe for something like that to happen. Like, I was just looking at our book of business and the priorities that we have right now. We're doing a lot. We've got some lists going right now that are very intentional and I was running out of bandwidth, I'm running out of steam. And there was a stress on me of not just work harder, but it was me really questioning the value of what I'm bringing to every aspect of what we're doing. And there was part of me and wisdom, I think that was going, man. I think we're pushing too hard in this category and we need to be able to free up and focus our attention in this category.
[00:05:52.660] - Brandon
Where am I going with all that? The mental gymnastics, right, that business owners experience when we're trying to establish priorities, when we're trying to balance what we do.
[00:06:02.750] - Chris
Why we do it.
[00:06:03.610] - Brandon
How does that align with public opinion or the people in our sphere of influence or my family that's going to ask me about my restoration company when I go hang out with them this weekend?
[00:06:13.210] - Chris
Whatever.
[00:06:14.030] - Brandon
It's this gymnastics of why am I doing what I'm doing and is it for the right reason? Like, am I saying yes to the right things for the right reason? Or as Jeremy alluded to really well, am I doing a lot of things because I feel like others think I should be doing that? That's where my head has been. And what that looks like for a guy like me right now is this balancing of what time I'm working? Like, how much energy am I spending during my 24 hours cycle proactively engaging my business, thinking about the next thing, grinding out the content, whatever. And I'm in this place where I start reaching 507:00 at night and for some people they're going five, right?
[00:06:59.390] - Chris
Wouldn't that be nice?
[00:07:00.250] - Brandon
Yeah, wouldn't that be nice? But you know what? I don't want to feel bad for that. So I start getting into this point where between five and 07:00, there's everything inside of me that just goes, Man, let's be done. And I'm trying to decide, is that laziness, is that a lack of discipline? Is that mental weakness or is that me being a little wiser this time of I want to do this forever, I want to own and build my company for the long haul. It's a marathon, it's not a sprint, and I've got to have the fucking energy to show up tomorrow. So does that mean I need to get better at shutting off by seven and just ignoring that and putting it on hold because the same tasks, the same lift will be ready for me the next morning to come at it ready to go, right? Or am I being weak and I don't have to answer? I don't know.
[00:07:45.510] - Chris
You know what that stirs up in me, man? I don't know if this is too dark, but I'm 42 now, and about. I've said this before, but it's still relevant to me. I'm still kind of in this zone. One of my friends was killed in a car accident. He was 50 and he still had a teenager at home and had a teenager that was kind of transitioning out of the house. And it was just a really poor timing. Most of us don't die necessarily when we want to, right? Anyway, it rattled my cage, partly because I hadn't seen this buddy for a while. Both of us were in the throes of our careers and all the things. And I had actually sent him a LinkedIn message maybe three months before he died. Hey, dude, we should get back together. It was just one of those things we didn't prioritize. It just hit me in a different way. I've had people I know pass away. Not many. I think that's that it's just the season of life. You start to get in your late 30s, 40s people are starting to get cancer. Diagnoses and random weirdo accidents seem to happen more often with folks.
[00:08:46.300] - Chris
I think it's my version of midlife that I'm in. I've been thinking a lot more about death lately. The Stoics actually have a mantra saying that it's just really common in stoicism called memento Mori. Memento Mori is Greek or Latin for remember you're going to die. It's just being rooted in this humble posture. When we start every single day, I could die today and then live accordingly.
[00:09:14.870] - Brandon
Yeah, it's not meant to be.
[00:09:16.460] - Chris
No, it's not. But I think when you're unfamiliar with, like, most of us, grow up never focusing on death. Death is a dark, negative thing, and that's not where the Stoics came from. Death is just a reality that we all are going to meet at some point. Prepare. But I think Marcus Aurelius was a great Emperor. 2500 BC. Maybe it was his reign. And he's widely regarded, along with Cyrus the Great, as sort of being one of the great benevolent leaders of his time. When he would conquer a territory rather than enslaving and pillaging and all that kind of stuff, they would invite them to join their culture and assimilate them in the people they conquered, which was very radical at the time. Anyway, so Marcus Ceruleus talks about that and he journals. You can actually read his journals, his meditations, and he writes of this. He's like, I could die today. How then should I live? Question Mark this is his personal journalist and I noodle on that. And somehow that's just been really a thing for me. I just another Facebook post. Somebody that's not much older than me. I just saw an obituary and I don't think I'm being obsessive over this.
[00:10:22.180] - Chris
It's not an unhealthy place for me. It's been more of a reflective of what you're talking about. It's this weighing and measuring of do I give myself over even more to the business, my Empire building? I'm an Empire. I want to build an Empire. You do, too. We're both very much achievers, ambitious, all this kind of thing, and we have big vision, and it's like there is this balancing act of I'm spending my life.
[00:10:47.100]
Yeah.
[00:10:47.860] - Chris
And the only thing is I don't know how much I have to spend, and I know how this can easily spin out into kind of an obsessive, compulsive thing. It's not that for me, but it's like it's just this reality of my friend John isn't here anymore. He's not with his wife, he's not with his kids. He's gone. And all he was able to put into his life was what he was able to put in up until that very moment. And it's like we don't know when the cut off is, but we're all spending ourselves. I guess I'm just becoming so tuned into that. Not every day, but some days I'm just like, wow, I could go back to the office for 2 hours, and it means I'm not having that 2 hours with my family. And lately I've been airing on the side of stay home.
[00:11:33.660] - Brandon
Yeah.
[00:11:34.210] - Chris
I don't know.
[00:11:34.900] - Brandon
I've been.
[00:11:35.450] - Chris
And of course, you and I went on our coffee walk this morning, and you just started chatting about the Terry Crews thing, and we were talking about Hugh Jackman, another really interesting figure. When I hear those kind of figures talk, I hear discipline, I hear drive. I hear dedication. And I can't help but ask myself, what am I really capable of if I really invested myself in something? Like I really gave myself over to building this thing or creating this thing or making this change in the world? Those people inspire me to think that way. But then I also have this memento Morris in the back of my mind where it's like, boy. So I don't know. I wouldn't even say I struggle with it, but it's just kind of that's the balancing act that I've been thinking about. Yeah. I'm so inspired by figures like Terry and Hugh and Tim Ferriss and all the people, and I think that pulls some of the best things out of me. It hits on some of the best parts of me, and I don't know what to make of that. I guess that's my version of midlife crisis.
[00:12:32.880] - Chris
It's not prostitutes and sports cars, and it's midlife process. It's midlife. It's just, wow. I don't know how much time I've left. My relationship with my dad, too is something I've been felt really good. We're coming into a different kind of peer based relationship right now, and I want to experience more of that.
[00:12:54.510] - Chris
All right. Let's take a minute to recognize and thank our MIT restaurant sponsor, Accelerate Restoration Software. And I'm fully aware, by the way, that when I say those last two words, restoration software, that instantly creates heartburn for some of you out there. Right. Because we probably all fall into one of two camps when it comes to software, we've either cobbled together kind of a version of free website tools and spreadsheets just to make our business work, or we're in the camp where we've adopted one of these existing restoration platforms, one that has all the bells and whistles and supposedly does it all. But we can't get our team to consistently adopt it and input information to it.
[00:13:39.360] - Brandon
Yeah. And that's really where Accelerate has honed their focus. They've created a system that's simple, right? It's intuitive and it focuses on the most mission critical information. Ie, guys, your team will actually use it.
[00:13:54.320] - Chris
Let's talk about sales. Right? After years of leading sales and marketing teams, the biggest trick is getting them to consistently update notes about their interactions with referral, partners and clients. And the essential piece there is, there's got to be a mobile app experience. And in our experience, the solutions that were previously out there were just too cumbersome and tricky to use.
[00:14:17.820] - Brandon
Yes.
[00:14:18.230]
Imagine, guys, how your business would change if your entire team was actually consistently using the system.
[00:14:25.430] - Brandon
Do yourself a favor. Go check these guys [email protected] MRM. And check out the special offers they're providing to MRM. Listeners.
[00:14:37.590] - Chris
All right, let's talk about actionable Insights owners. Gms, you can't be your business expert on all things estimated you might have been three years ago when you're writing sheets in the field, but the industry is always changing and so are the tools. If you're the smartest person in the room when it comes to exact Matterport, how does that scale you're the bottleneck? I know I'm preaching to the choir, but this is where actual Insights comes in. They're a technical partner that can equip your team with the latest bleeding edge information and best practices, and then update them with webinars and training resources when the game inevitably changes again. For this reason, we recommend actual Insights to all of our clients.
[00:15:17.820]
Yeah, three of the kind of big things that stuck out to me when being introduced to AI and their team.
[00:15:23.980] - Brandon
First off is this consistently updated training. I mean, at the end of the day, these guys are the experts. They're out front all the time. They're constantly learning new trade secrets and ensuring that your team's got access to those things. A 3700 plus page database of exact amount templates. I don't know what else to say here other than don't reinvent the wheel. It's already available. Download it, copy it, use it. Bam database of commonly missed items. I think this is huge.
[00:15:52.030]
So many of us can change the numbers by just moving the needle a couple of points.
[00:15:58.060] - Brandon
And those commonly missed items can make all the difference in the world. So go check them out at value. Gitinsights. Orgs.
[00:16:10.570] - Brandon
I think we kind of are wrestling with a similar concept. I think some of that is age for certain, but I think another part of it, too, is just kind of the difference. Maybe between what society has been pushing pretty consistently, especially with the rise of influencers and this kind of fake perspective or fake mirroring of a life, we obviously are bumping up against that as well. And so I think it's probably a similar wrestle that a lot of people are going in, are going through. We've been meeting with some really impressive folks that have young kids. I mean, I'm thinking about Trish Wall from the Wall team. It's just like the level of production that these people can put out as well as still maintain something that looks like family balance is really impressive. It's kind of like, how do we take this from this really heady what if and I don't know where to land, and I'm not sure what's more important than the other. Here's an example, a close to home example that I admire.
[00:17:04.370] - Brandon
And I think what it looks like to me is two people that are being wise with identifying where they're going to spend their energy and their effort and why they're going to do it. We have a client right now who, although it is a strategic shift and it was not necessarily planned, they had some ongoing conversations. These two business partners made the determination that even though their business size does not warrant it, they've determined that it's the best move for them to bring in or actually maneuver an internal person into a GM position. And what's interesting is that when we look at it from a financial analysis, when we look at it on paper, the size of their business, the moving parts, that doesn't really warrant that, that these two individuals leaders should be more than capable of leading their own business, and we can get stuck there. This kind of goes back to Jeremy Reed's version of I spent the first 40 years doing what I thought others think I should do or thought I should do. And I think these two guys, I don't know how intentional this is. We're still walking through this with them, but they've come to the determination that where and how they want to spend their time is not on the key strategies and responsibilities that a standard general manager should have and own for the business.
[00:18:17.450] - Brandon
And they're prioritizing that, which means they're going to spend more than they have to. It's going to affect the draw that they take from their business. It's going to affect some of the financial opportunities short term. But it was a real intentional decision to make that. And I think that's a pretty interesting example and a very relatable example of a couple of people wrestling with this concept and deciding why and what are they going to spend their energy. And I have to hats off. I admire those two guys because it doesn't align with what people would say us as consultants. We don't jump on that because from a financial perspective, there are different solutions. There's all these reasons that would say, no, wait.
[00:18:58.110] - Chris
And neither one of us is necessarily surprised. These two clients are very grounded in sort of their values, principles. And so, yes, exactly. I think they're just realizing they've connected the dots of us grinding and trying to put on where these hats successfully is taking away from our presence and our family and everything else.
[00:19:21.940] - Brandon
It's like, why, right? Why are you trying to put that hat on? Is it really ego driven? Is it more from a feeling of obligation because of what others are placing on you? Or is it you aligning your decisions with your priorities? Yeah, right. Because it could look very different someone else with older kids or whatever, one is not better than the other. It's very specific to the context of the individual, I guess.
[00:19:46.480] - Chris
Yeah.
[00:19:47.080] - Brandon
I think my challenge with it is that I don't feel super confident in my decision. Part of it because I'm a driver by nature. And so even though I get tired and I want to rest, rest doesn't always feel great to me, even though I have to have it. I'm not saying in any remote way that I don't.
[00:20:04.430] - Chris
But it is hard for me to rest on Sunday. Sunday was a rest day for me. I needed it. I felt like I was losing my voice. And like, I'm a talker. I make a living with my mouth.
[00:20:21.290] - Brandon
Oh, man, there's no good way to come up.
[00:20:23.960] - Chris
We went straight back to junior high in about half a second flat.
[00:20:26.990] - Brandon
There deep thoughts of junior high.
[00:20:29.930] - Chris
And it was really tricky. But my son actually ended up coming out on the porch with his guitar. He's been learning guitar, and I actually really love to sit and listen to him. It's very relaxing. Cathartic anyway. But I was just noticing what was going on in my head. Like, it's really hard for me to not pick up my phone. And actually I ended up talking to him out on the deck because he's like, he's almost 14. He doesn't have a smartphone yet on purpose. Yes. This kid has not complained about it. My 16 year old at age four or something. All my friends have iPhones and I'm the only one. Anyway, so we kind of went through a fight with her. But with him, he hasn't really bought at it much. And so it came up because he was having trouble scheduling, like a get together thing with his buddies. And I'm like, well, hey, what are your thoughts on phone? I mean, you've seen how hard it is for sister to manage. Like, it becomes kind of an addiction. And I'm like, and I feel it. Do you think you're ready to handle that?
[00:21:19.830] - Chris
Anyway, we got this great conversation about it, but I just told them how hard it was for me not to check my email, not to check LinkedIn, even those simple social media habits. As a business owner, it's just a whole another layer. It's like, well, yeah, there's spreadsheets I should probably be looking at. There's always a to do list of things I could be putting my time on to grow the business. And it tugs at my sleeve when I'm not doing anything. I feel like a loser.
[00:21:47.810] - Brandon
Even though what you needed to be in that moment was completely present with your son.
[00:21:52.210] - Chris
And I actually had that thought. And it was almost like the devil on my shoulder and the angel on my other one. Right. It was like, no, Chris, this is the whole reason why you're trying to build something, right? It's to create a better life for your son, to model for him. It's all about this relational connection here. This is what makes life sweet, right. To have relationships with people. But it was hard for me. And there was part of me, too, because you're so driven, dude. It's like I always just assume that you probably like, well, Brandon is working on this strategic pathway document that were next steps of this and that you're very ordered in that way. And I was thinking how Brandon is probably working right now and I should be and I'm sitting here on my ass just talking to my son and whatever. And I was like, no, this is the most important thing I could ever do.
[00:22:38.410] - Brandon
The thing. Yeah, it is interesting. It is. I think at the end of the race, right. Everybody says this, everybody talks about this like at the end of the race. And either we have an opportunity to kind of contemplate what we've done or not done or kind of like you picture those final family moments or whatever. No one is going to reflect on the business that you built, not from a monetary way. Now, that's different when we're talking about legacy, when we're developing people, creating a platform that people were able to use to springboard forward to advance personally and professionally, that's going to yield relationships that will show up at the end of your day. Yeah, I think that's beautiful.
[00:23:25.940] - Chris
Yeah. There is no doubt there's virtue in your clients, appreciating you, liking you, respecting you, be respected the industry. But if my kids don't feel connected to me.
[00:23:36.830] - Brandon
Your spouse, partner, whoever.
[00:23:40.010] - Chris
Really, what legacy have I created? What have I communicated to my kids? Right. That was the dynamic. Dad worked his ass off. He was really respected in his industry. He was really good at XYZ, but I didn't really know him.
[00:23:51.250] - Brandon
Yes.
[00:23:51.800] - Chris
I wish I'd known him better. The thing I feared the most, I haven't actually articulated this. I don't think I think one of my bigger fears and kind of surrounds this whole midlife conversation is up until recently, that was part of my dad's story. My dad is a good man, and I don't know if he's listening to this or not. He's not a big podcast guy, but my dad was really excellent in his career, and occasionally I would visit him. He's a teacher and won awards and all the things very well regarded. Still, even now I'm 42 and I'll still run into people in Nordic.
[00:24:22.220]
Nordic.
[00:24:22.610] - Chris
Nordic. Was your dad a teacher? And oh my God, he changed my kid's life. Or I was his student 30 years ago or something like that. And I would go visit my dad in his classroom. And I remember just being enamored with how he engaged with students. He really gave us all for that job. And it was really sweet and fun to watch because my dad was really goofy. Like, he really got on the kids level and he was just so good with kids, but he would spend a lot of that energy in the classroom. I remember thinking, man, I wish I experienced my dad the way his students do.
[00:24:55.980] - Brandon
Yeah.
[00:24:56.440] - Chris
And I've gotten to know my dad since we've gotten way closer over the last few years, and I'm so grateful for that. But I think one of my biggest fears I'm in the pose of our business is growing all these things. I don't want to leave this Earth. And my kids say, I wish I'd known my dad like his clients did.
[00:25:14.200] - Brandon
Yeah, I think you're hitting at the heart of the matter. And really, I think this is where people as an individual need to create the context for their decision making is what right now. And I don't think we can go backwards. So, like in my personal story is I was in the throes of operationally developing a business when my kids were in the early, basically the majority of their kind of middle school through graduation, a little bit younger, premium school, very influential years in their life. And if I give myself an honest assessment, it looked way better than what I experienced growing up for my father. That bar was set so damn low, though. That doesn't necessarily give me a ton of badge of honor to put on. But I also can look at it and say, my kids probably during those years, would have very easily been able to say, we hear all this stuff, we hear things about a growing company, a growing business, brand recognition. It's getting bigger, we're hiring more employees, all these things. But that didn't matter. None of that means a thing to them.
[00:26:19.500] - Chris
None of it.
[00:26:20.700] - Brandon
None of it.
[00:26:21.310] - Chris
They don't care about your business success at all.
[00:26:23.730] - Brandon
And in a lot of ways, I think some of us look at it and go, yeah, but I'm setting a really great example. Yes, you are. But if there's no sense of balance and correct prioritization, you're just showing them that you're good at chasing money or accolades, which is great. I want my kids to understand both my kids have a very healthy work ethic, dude, because I mirrored for them busting ass, working hard. But I think they very well can say we've had the opportunity in the last few years to develop portions of our relationship together that I could have done earlier. I didn't guilt myself to death or come to a certain point where I stopped trying. I doubled down and I tried in the phases where I could. And we've made some ground. And my kids and I, we have a great, healthy, unique relationship. I'm very fortunate. But my point is that I lost some of that space with them. They were in that category because my kids are significantly older than yours. And now I'm in a position where I'm trying to do the best I can to not necessarily turn the clock back, but to mirror for them that you can learn and you can make transitions and you can change your decision prioritizations at any point in your life.
[00:27:37.590] - Brandon
And I am trying to do a decent job of balancing better the drive that I have to grow and build this business, to serve as many people as we can, but still give the appropriate level of engagement to my kids and my family, because at the end of the day, man, it's not going to be a training program. It's not going to be someone that was a surprise on the East Coast that participated in a training event that's going to show up at my deathbed. And it sounds a little morbid, but it's not this is not a negative thing.
[00:28:10.910] - Chris
I think there's some kind of spiritual truth in all this here's. What I've noticed is that when I'm excited to go home at the end of the day, for me, that's usually a good sign of health.
[00:28:22.820] - Brandon
Yeah. What do you mean by that?
[00:28:24.500] - Chris
Well, because I think when there's strife in my marriage, there's been seasons where my wife and I really struggled on a variety of different levels. She's raising kids and stuff, just everybody's, so maxed out emotionally anyway. So when there's been strife and struggle, lack of connection, all of those things at home, I don't flee to work, but I'm mentally giving myself over to work because that's easier, more satisfying. I can create a win in the moment, whereas relationships don't necessarily have that same direct lever. Or I can do this activity and create this win. It's like, no, I often, in order to create relationship, have to humble myself and exercise patience and all those things. Right. That go into building a relationship. But what I found is the healthier that my evening life is. I have dramatically more to bring and give during the day. It's so obvious to me now when things are healthy with my wife and I and things are healthier with my kids, it changes from hour to hour, it feels like. Right. But when I'm in a healthy sort of humble posture where I'm not reactive and I'm engaged with what's happening at home and I'm not pulling my laptop up and deciding to do work really often, it's just that's an easier thing than for me to engage in the home life if I'm honest with myself over the years because I can brag about how I put in more time after the kids went to bed.
[00:29:59.630] - Chris
That scene is virtuous by other business owners because we all, I think, do this to some level. We just don't necessarily connect what's actually happening. It's like, why are we like, why? I have noticed this is a fundamental truth of the universe for me, which is when things are healthy at home, I am always bringing a better self to my work. And it's actually not opposite when I'm struggling in my work, but I'm prioritizing health somehow. I have a place that I can go refuel to then be better the next day when I come to work.
[00:30:35.070] - Brandon
It'S like rebounding from a setback at work becomes easier.
[00:30:39.570] - Chris
Yes.
[00:30:40.080] - Brandon
Because that foundation is there.
[00:30:42.620] - Chris
Because there's actually rest at the end of the day.
[00:30:45.310] - Brandon
Yes.
[00:30:45.860] - Chris
You know what I mean?
[00:30:46.590] - Brandon
Yeah. Boy, that is interesting. I think that's kind of the I know we're just having a conversation, but of course I try to synthesize these thoughts as best as I can because my goal is I just want somebody to be able to listen to conversations like this and be like, how does this apply? Is that maybe a name or a description of something that I've experienced as well? So I think part of what comes to my mind when you say that is when we think about the level of commitment or the level of work that we're giving our business, that we're giving in these certain categories in our life, kids, relationships, yada, yada. I think the opportunity there is just to be really aware of what is most valuable to you because people being in a different family state may very well have a different bandwidth. And so I think the point here is instead of seeing it as a weakness, which is easy for me to wrestle with, is that I feel like I want to categorize it into being lazy or categorize it. And I don't have the same level of discipline as someone else.
[00:31:44.180] - Brandon
Or I'm not entrepreneurial enough because I'm not so driven by this thing that I want nothing else but to eat, sleep, and breathe my business, which is pretty close, but I think it's more of the wisdom is look at your current situation in the context of you, your family, your sphere of influence, and your business, and prioritize where you spend your energy on the things that will mean the most to you when it's all over.
[00:32:11.310] - Chris
Yeah.
[00:32:11.760] - Brandon
Like at the end of the race, what are you going to be most excited about that you built and spend your energies appropriately again in the context of your life, your kids'age, your spouse and partner's marriage. Like how long?
[00:32:25.650] - Chris
Whatever.
[00:32:26.340] - Brandon
And don't be afraid to do what you know you should do based on your own priorities versus doing what you feel like others think you should be doing. Jeremy needs to write a book, dude. And he needs to do it all on the premise of that thing because it's so valuable.
[00:32:42.770] - Chris
I think, though, and this came up a bit. We were chatting with Michelle on Restoration today earlier. I think there's another angle to it as well. And it's that alignment piece.
[00:32:51.420] - Brandon
Yeah.
[00:32:52.090] - Chris
So I used to run this entrepreneurs forum ten years ago where monthly I'd invite an entrepreneur speaker, and there'd be 40 or 50 of us that would have lunch together while we listen to this person talk. And one of the people we had was Alfred Lynn, who is one of the co founders of Zappos, who flew up from Vegas and came to our lunch thing. And one of the things he said, because they were growing so fast at the time, like, at the time, I think that maybe they had 1500 employees now they probably have 4000 or something, but they were like, really scaling hard. And he was talking about hiring executives in particular. And he said one of the things they used to do is they would take that executive and their spouse out.
[00:33:28.240]
Yeah.
[00:33:28.830] - Chris
Because they wanted to see the little and big things, the behaviors.
[00:33:34.080]
Yeah.
[00:33:34.640] - Chris
To see whether this person is an integrated leader, meaning they're the same person with their spouse or their kids or at the ball game as they are with their downline employees, because it's a really common problem. Right. Of executives. You get a portion of them that rise up to the top that have one face they put on in this environment, another face they put on in another. And they didn't want people like that. They wanted to have people that had what he called integrated personalities. And ever since I heard that, I'm like, yeah, wow. That feels like a really important thing.
[00:34:09.640]
Yeah.
[00:34:10.170] - Chris
It feels like a really important thing. And I think one aspect of that is if I want my team, my partners, to show up to our work as their best self, that requires health on all levels. That means taking care of our relationships at home, our personal health, all that kind of stuff. If I want my team, I want them to bring their best to the work. I also have to prioritize bringing my best. Like I talked about, for me, it's just the discipline of if things are broken or in chaos at home, I can't just ignore that and sprint toward my work because then I'm bringing a broken version of myself to my work. It's like because I've got these negging thoughts, I've got these stressors kind of tugging at my sleeve in the background. No matter how much I try to compartmentalize, I just don't think any of us can do that entirely. Like if things are broken at home or in our personal sphere, we're bringing a broken, damaged version of ourself to our work. And how can we expect to get our people to give their best if we aren't?
[00:35:09.770] - Brandon
It's solid. I just need to do a better job remembering that in the moment.
[00:35:14.540] - Chris
Oh, man.
[00:35:15.180] - Brandon
Right. That's the thing. It's like you can always get really good at hindsight, look backwards and say, oh, I would have cut a shoulder. It's just how good do you do at modifying your decision process and how you think through it live versus always looking backwards. But your spot on, dude, I think that's the zone. I think that's what I'm hearing when I watch some of these higher level achievers and producers do what they do is just trying to balance that, again, with context, with what's important to me, what's important to the promises that I've made to my family. Right. And staying, like you said, aligned.
[00:35:51.230] - Chris
Jim Deathmer talks about this. We always talk about Jim deathmer. Jim, when are you going to come on the show?
[00:35:56.250] - Brandon
All the time.
[00:35:57.190] - Chris
I know we're actually trying to get him on the show, but we'll see. I really never give up on that. So eventually it's going to happen. But Jim talks about this. He talks about this concept of the full body.
[00:36:06.080] - Brandon
Yes.
[00:36:07.130] - Chris
Just a little bit Woohoo. It's a little bit like new age. What do you mean full body? Yes. Well, he just describes it as I think all of us have this when we're making a decision. Sometimes we make a yes decision and there's kind of a part of us it's like something doesn't feel quite right about this either. It's our ego, like there's maybe a negative motivation underlined you have those decisions, whether it's a hiring decision or investment decision or just a process change in your business or anything of that sort or even personal life stuff where you're just like, there's this thing you're kind of pushing out you don't really want to take a close look at because the rest of it is pretty awesome. Anyway, he talks about this concept of full body.
[00:36:49.170]
Yes.
[00:36:49.840] - Chris
Intellectually, emotionally, and physically. It's a yes. I'm in there's. Another dude, Kevin Rose is a technology entrepreneur. He was on Tim Ferriss's podcast. Kevin Rose talks about this. He actually said, it not my words. I'm pretty sure he said it's either a fuck yes or it's a no no. Of course it's funny because the context actually was the guy who started CD baby. It's not Kevin Rose who's another dude based in Portland. Very successful entrepreneur. Anyway, now, of course, he's worth like $25 million now. So is it a little easier to vet your opportunities and your choice of activities through that lens of it's either a hell yes or it's no? Well, sure, probably yes. But it does make you think it's like how much of my ego is coming in to my choice of doing this versus a clear sense of purpose or determination?
[00:37:38.580] - Brandon
I think that's it.
[00:37:39.630] - Chris
You know, what I mean.
[00:37:40.350] - Brandon
Yeah, for sure.
[00:37:41.310] - Chris
And choosing to make our decisions and to sort of organize our actions and behaviors around a sense of purpose and direction and intention versus guilt shame, guilt, shame or desire for accolade or desire for affirmation all these other sort of ego drives.
[00:37:59.210] - Brandon
Yeah, I think that's a solid place to land the plane, dude, I think you're spot on. I'm not going to add anything.
[00:38:04.720] - Chris
We are still firmly in the explicit content.
[00:38:07.460] - Brandon
Yeah, we didn't get out of there pull anything.
[00:38:10.980] - Chris
In fact this was an F word heavy show. A little bit.
[00:38:14.240] - Brandon
All right, guys, I hope you fucking enjoyed that. We'll see you next time. All right, everybody. Heath, thanks for joining us for another episode of Head.
[00:38:21.810] - Chris
Heart and boot and if you're joined the show but you love this episode please hit follow only known to subscribe write us to review or share this episode with a friend share it on LinkedIn share it via text whatever it all helps. Thanks for listening.